This is a super informal update, just some thoughts I’ve had in the last few weeks, some things I am trying, and some habits I am attempting to form. I hope that each little goal will help me be happier and healthier during the holidays and beyond. I want to beat the New Years resolution rush, because I also think it’s important to resolve to improve yourself all year round and not just when a new year begins.
So here are some things I’ve been trying to do lately…
Accept less bullshit. I tend to be a bit of a pushover. In both my friendships and relationships, I sometimes accept things that I shouldn’t because I want to avoid conflict and sometimes I care too much about what other people think. I am trying to be more assertive when I need to be and more honest about my own needs. Whether this is in my dating life or in my friendships, I am trying to notice when the bullshit creeps in and then cut the bullshitters loose. Easier said than done, right?
Compliment things people wear on them, not just the item of clothing. A little pet peeve of mine is when someone says something like, “Wow, cute scarf. Where’d ya get it?” This is a nice compliment but to me, it implies that the scarf would look great on the complimenter and they are going to steal my look. It’s no big deal when people make compliments like that and I know they are not actually ill-intentioned at all, I just kind of like to make my compliments a little kinder and more a compliment to the person and not just the accessory.
My edit to this compliment: “Wow, that scarf looks great on you (or with your outfit or whatever)! The color looks amazing with your hair (or eyes or whatever). Nice choice.”
Be more grateful. I know, I know…this one is sappy and cliché and too perfect in the wake of Thanksgiving. But really.
I’ve been catching myself stressing about dumb things and making them a huge concern. Like when I didn’t have a shower for two weeks— it was stressful and not ideal, but I was lucky because I had so many friends graciously offer me their showers and it gave me more reasons to spend time with friends. I am privileged and if the only thing I don’t have for two weeks is a shower, I should be thankful.
Get back to my books. I’ve been dating and travelling, and spending a lot of time with friends lately and when I go home I’ve been crashing or doing something meaningless on the internet for hours.
I kind of want to calm down, and read the things I’ve been meaning to read and enjoy the quiet study time. I miss college academics so much and my goal is to keep reading academic articles, and reading critically (even the popular fiction should still be read with a critical and conscientious eye).
I need this intellectual exercise because I don’t want to lose my skills and I really do miss it, but sometimes it’s really easy to go get a drink or go to bed early instead of taking the time to engage in the study I crave.
Wake up on time. This one is plain and simple. My day isn’t as fun, I don’t feel as confident, pretty, smart, or with it when I wake up late. I scramble, pick a boring or weird outfit, my hair looks greasy, and I feel gross when I wake up late and am running late to work. I also forget things… I want to wake up on time or early so I can enjoy my walks to work, read before I get started, run an errand, and relax. I get so stressed when I’m late.
Take more walks and savor those bitter, cold moments. This one goes in conjunction with the last. Last night, I walked home from a holiday party. It was about an hour walk home but the weather was lovely, the city was lit up for Christmas, and I took my time, did some window shopping, and it really gave me some great space to think, call my mom, and just breath in better air.
Unplug. (More on this one later) Basically, I want to scale back on social media and phone usage but I am feeling mixed about it.
Cultivate new hobbies and interests. Knitting, sewing, arts, and crafts, go back to yoga, go back to running, try other exercise classes… this stuff used to get me going. I need it back in my life and I want to try some new hobbies too.
Seek out and enjoy more family time. I just got back from a trip with family and it was amazing. I am also a godmother now, and I really want to bond with my godson. I am realizing how valuable family is, how quickly you can lose them, and how close I actually am with mine and I want to spend as much time with them as possible.
Seek peace. I’ve moved a lot this year, I am at a transition point this year, and I’ve lost an important loved one this year. I want to find some solitude and learn to let go of what upsets me and hold tight to what makes me happy.
What are some of the things you’ve been trying to do lately?